TOP TEN QUESTIONS ASKED OF ARTISTS AT ART SHOWS:
10. Ya got any covered bridges (in the midwest)? [Substitute dolphins on the West coast, ships in the Northeast, cowboys in the Southwest, sea shells in the Southeast.]
(Ans.: Nope, sold the last one to Walmart, just yesterday.)
9.Do you do portraits from photos?
(Ans.: Only if you don't have about 30 hours to pose.)
8.How long have you painted?
(Ans.: I once did one 8 feet long.)
7.Which one is your favorite?
(Ans.: My NEXT one.)
6.What's the smallest size (read cheapest) painting you do?
(Ans.: I once painted the entire Sistine Chapel Ceiling on the head of a pin.)
5.How long does it take you to do a painting?
(Ans.: Depends on what's on TV at the time.)
4.You draw all these yourself?
(Ans.: Yep, can't get no one ELSE to do them for me.)
3.Do you have a card?
(Ans.: Yes, how about you? Mastercard would be fine.)
2.Do you have this in a size large, maybe in brown instead of blue?
(Ans.: I could special-order you one but it'd cost $100 more and take 60 days.)
1.Could you tell me, which way is to the rest rooms?
(Ans.: I COULD, but I like watching you prance around waiting for an answer.)