If you've ever cleaned your fingernails with a palette knife--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you notice the burnt umber in the background of the ******* centerfold--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you choose a wine with an eye toward using the bottle in your next still-life--you MIGHT be an artist.

If your idea of losing weight is to paint a thinner self-portrait--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever rinsed your watercolor brush in your coffee--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you didn't realize it until you noticed the taste--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you thought it improved the taste--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you thought it improved the painting--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever drunk the rinse water instead of the coffee--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever considered framing your palette instead of the painting--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever painted an abstract and decided it looked better upside down--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you find painting more exciting than sex--you MIGHT be an artist.

If your cat has chrome oxide green paws--you MIGHT be an artist.

If the paintings in your attic start looking better than the one on your easel--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've change your painting signature more than five times in one year--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever cleaned the toilet rather than start a new painting--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever touched up a painting with White-Out--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever gotten cookie crumbs in the Titanium white--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you can spell phthalocyanine, you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever scrubbed a hole in a watercolor--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever accidentally mixed oils and acrylics--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you squirt out ketchup with creative flourish--you might be an artist.

If the back of your painting starts looking better than the front--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever had a portrait come back for touch-ups more than four times--you MIGHT be an artist.

If your best painting time is between two and four in the morning--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you see yourself in more than ten of these statements--you MIGHT be an artist.